Free thought writing :: part 2

What does a life lived for God really look like? Does it mean that we continue in our dreams/job/profession as before? Do we sell everything and move to Africa? Do we share Christ with our Co-workers, and maybe justify our reasons for continuing life like normal? What does a person who comes to know God do with the rest of his life? I've realized that since I work in a church, I rarely think about this question. What would I do if I didn't work in a church? who knows? But I know that working in a church doesn't give me a speed pass to heaven. I still struggle to "get it" sometimes.

Jesus said that we need to deny ourselves, take up a cross, and follow Him. Jesus made the statement, "Unless you forsake all that you have, you cannot be my disciple." I ask myself, “Is that me?” I answer quickly, "I dont know." I tend to treat these verses as something that comes later in life, something that is part of sanctification. I say to myself, "I'll get there when I'm fifty,” thinking that this is something I will eventually understand. Yet the verses are in the context of pre-conversion. He's speaking to a crowd who was following him yet, they had not really counted the cost of what it means to follow him. Thus, this is something we decide before we become a Christian. Jesus spoke this very plainly. No smoke, no mirrors, no room for misinterpretation only the need for revelation. So why is it so hard for me (us) to get?
Sincerely frustrated with myself, Mondo